


I Know You And I Don't Buy Your Bullshit So How Much Do You Fancy Him You Motherfucking Klingon

by early_sunsets_over_moronville



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, frank especially, gerard and frank are little shits i swear to god, mikey way is the tired mum freind, rays lowkey concerned and honestly? mood, we all need a mikey way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/early_sunsets_over_moronville/pseuds/early_sunsets_over_moronville
Summary: yet again my meds made me high but this time it was a slightly lower dose so have some slightly more coherent crack
Relationships: and he could be right or he could be wrong idk, and it really doesnt matter mikey just reckongs gee has a crush on ray, implied gerard/ray but like its 1 line
Kudos: 2





	I Know You And I Don't Buy Your Bullshit So How Much Do You Fancy Him You Motherfucking Klingon

Mikey spun around, holding the hairbrush like a microphone. 

“Ladiesss and gentelmennnn-”

“Bitch _please._ ” His sibling looked unimpressed. “Its 20 fucking 27”

Mikey thought. 

“Ahem. Beloved pissers and pissies-” 

“Cough cough FRANK”

“gERARD I TOLD YOU THAT IN PRIVATE”

Mikey sighed and turned around to see them screeching and having a thoroughly unimpressive ‘slap battle’. They probably would have had a better chance if Gerard wan’t draped across both Ray and Frank, like someones mistress in a film noir- providing, of course, the lady in question had never been within 2 meters of a bottle of shampoo. 

“Um.”

Oh yeah. Ray. Who was looking both incredibly confused and also slightly concerned

“Are they-”

“MIKEYYYY”

Whatever he was about to say would have to wait until Mikey had dealt with the two weird gremlins who had stopped pulling each others greasy hair like 3 year olds and were now-

“Frank? Frank you good?” 

Ray managed to ask.

“I AM BELA LUGOSI COWER MORTALS”

“Honey, I thought we were doing rocky horror?”

“Nah but you have a vampire kink don’t you?”

“fRANK MY BROTHERS RIGHT HERE”

Gerard was now trying to bury himself in pillows.

“....gerard?"

“Yeah?”

“I think he already knows?”

“Oh. right. ”

They emerged from their temporary pillow fortress, and gave a shy smile to ray. 

“Hey dude.”

“Hi uh gerard?”

Mikey interrupted what Could Have Been A Moment.

“Oh shit yeah, dude that ones gee, my sibling, they use he/they, the other wanker is frank, he uses he/him, fuckers, this is ray, hes uses he/xe and hes almost a normal dude please dont scare him off or recruit him into your weird cult?”

Ray looked terrified. “Uhhhh cult???”

Frank was the one who answered this time. “Okay so me, gee, mikey and bert, right, we have like a Fish cult, right, where we watch star trek on tuesdays and horror films on fridays and we have to pledge allegiance to the fish”

“The- the FISH????”

On cue, all three stood up, raised their right hands in the vulcan salute and screeched, “BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE EAT SHIT FISH BECAUSE BETTLEJUICE IS MY BITCH”

Ray started edging away from them. Nutcases, the lot of them. Quietly he slipped out the room.

“Dudes, I think Ray goes to our school!!!!!”

“Frank calm down and get off the sofa, gerard give me back my coffee? No? ……. Well fine but only because you're smiling but I won’t let you do it again okay? ”

Gerard took a sip of the coffee before speaking. “Bros and hoes-”

“I’m not the only one!”

“Frank i could have meant you were the bro”

“Bitch we both know that mikeys a virgin”

“Frank, lets not go there please….also didnt you see me and gabe fucking last year?”

“....not the fucking point”

“AS I WAS SAYING hes a small bean i think we should invite him round to watch friday thirteenth”

Frank clutched his throat. 

“MX GERARD WAY???? BEING VAGUELY SOCIAL???? IMPOSIBLE!!!!”

"Oh fuck off frank, we all know the only people you talk to are us, your ex, and whoever your currently sucking off. Mikey?"

Mikey sighed and attempted to arrange his features into Supportive Brother Mode as opposed to I Know You And I Dont Buy Your Bullshit So How Much Do You Fancy Him You Motherfucking Klingon Mode. “That sounds great!”

“All we have to do now is ask him”

They all turned to look at each other in a way vaguely reminiscent of the spiderman meme.

“Well. _Fuck_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes ive written more mcr crack because as it turns out, getting high on meds has a few benefits, namely i write shit like this. comment and kudos please, i love hearing from you all, even if its incoherent screaming


End file.
